On TV this week
Monday Night Football, 8:30 p.m., ESPN Get used to it, ladies — this is on every Monday night, all season long. Tonight: the Philadelphia Eagles vs. the Dallas Cowboys, so it's one of those games where we wish both teams could lose.
Intervention, 9 p.m., A&E It's a guilt-ridden twofer, as three siblings beg their alcoholic parents to quit watching football and get help.
Prison Break, 9 p.m., Fox Sara's alive and they got out of Sona, but Michael and Lincoln should know by now that their going to run into some bad luck again.
SEASON PREMIERE House, 8 p.m., Fox Let's find out how the good doctor is doing after last season's cliffhanger, shall we? We're willing to bet he's gonna live.
90210, 8 p.m., CW Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty get into an argument. On the show, we mean.
SEASON PREMIERE The Biggest Loser: Families, 8 p.m., NBC To hear the stats tell it, practically every person in America could compete on this show, but they keep the teams to two people to keep the contestant pool nice and deep.
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW Our favorite — the makeover episode — is always greeted with the waterworks. Do none of these airheads watch the show? Maybe if they did, they wouldn't be surprised when they get that high-and-tight or pixie cut.
Top Design, 10 p.m., Bravo The jury's still out on new host India Hicks, but it passes the time until we can see Project Runway again.
SEASON PREMIERE The Ultimate Fighter, 10 p.m., Spike Thirty-two more meatheads are back for an eighth season of showing how manly they are by rolling around on a mat, half-naked and embracing each other.
SEASON PREMIERE Smallville, 8 p.m., CW There's a new villain, there's action in the arctic and Clark has his powers taken away. We've already seen Superman II.
SEASON PREMIERE Supernatural, 9 p.m., CW Dean is back from hell, waking up in a pine box and confused about how he got there. Is it Mardi Gras time already?
What Happened to Natalie Holloway?, 11 p.m., A&E A news special dedicated to frightening the parents of college-aged children everywhere.
America's Toughest Jobs, 8 p.m., NBC They have yet to call us and ask for pointers about writing TV capsules every week while trying to maintain some sense of coherency. Maybe next season.
SEASON PREMIERE 20/20, 10 p.m., ABC The 30th(!) season of this news magazine features people in an alcohol-related car crash and an interview with Alec Baldwin, but they have nothing to do with each other.
Say Yes to the Dress, 10 p.m., TLC Somehow this show will end up on our TV screens, despite the fact that we've been married for several years now.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org