On TV this week
CMA Music Festival: Country's Night to Rock, 8 p.m., ABC Jason Aldean, Faith Hill, Alan Jackson, Miranda Lambert, Scotty McCreery, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood and others star in a prime time concert show with a price everyone can afford. The Band Perry's Kimberly Perry and singer-songwriter Luke Bryan are hosts. Maybe they'll sing, too!
SEASON PREMIERE Bones, 8 p.m., Fox Brennan has been accused of killing someone, but that's okay; you'd think the only person capable of pinning it on her would be her.
SERIES PREMIERE The Mob Doctor, 9 p.m., Fox Jordana Spiro from My Boys has so many bills from medical school, she turns to acting as a surgeon/doctor/confidante for the mob. Seems like a solid career move in this economy.
SERIES PREMIERE Revolution, 10 p.m., NBC From the trailers, this one about a world without electricity looks like Kevin Costner's The Postman without the postman. Everyone has swords and crossbows, and there's nowhere to plug in your iPhone. Truly, J.J. Abrams has discovered hell on Earth.
SEASON FINALE Perception, 10 p.m., TNT Moretti may finally be agreeing with Pierce about the plausibility of a conspiracy. That's when The X-Files started to go downhill, too.
20/20, 9 p.m., ABC Barbara Walters hosts a special leading up to the Emmys that celebrates the best TV shows ever. Your favorite is guaranteed to not be on it.
White Collar, 9 p.m., USA Peter and Neal try to stop a thief from stealing some defense technology. It would be better if they knew what the person was really trying the steal, though.
SERIES PREMIERE Iceberg Hunters, 9 p.m., Weather A couple of Newfies head to the Arctic Circle to sell chunks of icebergs to water bottlers. There's proof, folks: Capitalism, and not global warming, is destroying the ice shelf.
SERIES PREMIERE Hot Set, 10 p.m., SyFy Face Off already has makeup artists fighting each other, so why not production designers? Those are the people who design and build movie sets. They're an endangered species in this era of CGI.
SEASON PREMIERE Survivor: Philippines, 8 p.m., CBS The Facts of Life star Lisa Whelchel and one-time baseballer Jeff Kent are among the refugees this time around. We also have three previous Survivor castaways who left for medical reasons. This time, they're out for blood!
Royal Pains, 9 p.m., USA Hank has a moment of actualization while treating a beach volleyball player. Like, hey, how did I end up listening to the problems of people who play beach volleyball for a living?
How Booze Built America, 10 p.m., Discovery A three-part special about how alcohol shaped this great nation, despite what the teetotalers may think. There has to be a drinking game online for this one.
SEASON PREMIERE The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons, 10 p.m., MTV Real World contestants continue to hold onto infamy by their fingernails. Please don't tell us you recognize anyone.
Up All Night, 8:30 p.m., NBC The Ava Show is canceled, so Reagan and Ava are at each other's throats. Why they even still talk to each other remains a mystery.
SEASON PREMIERE The Office, 9 p.m., NBC Two new hires remind everyone of Jim and Dwight when they were younger. Jim and Dwight should expect the pair to be their supervisors in about six months.
SEASON PREMIERE Parks and Recreation, 9:30 p.m., NBC Only a show with a main character like Leslie Knope would consider guest stars like Sens. Olympia Snowe, Barbara Boxer and John McCain a casting coup. Remember that first season, when Leslie was dumber than a sack of hammers?
SERIES PREMIERE Bling It On, 10 p.m., TLC Sondra Celli from My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding has a series about her shop in Boston, where they make dresses and gossip. A lot.
SERIES PREMIERE Tamar & Vince, 10 p.m., WE Tamar Braxton can't have a singing career, but she and her man Vince Herbert sure qualify for a TV show.
2012 NCLR ALMA Awards, 8 p.m., NBC Eva Longoria and George Lopez are still hosting this image awards show for Hispanics in entertainment. How credible is the show? Christina Aguilera is getting a lifetime achievement award.
Boss, 9 p.m., Starz There are riots in the housing projects and Kane ignores it to get more treatment. It's always great when a show has realistic writing.
SEASON PREMIERE Haven, 10 p.m., SyFy Nathan and Duke quit fighting to search for Audrey. That's straying a little too far from the formula, SyFy.
SERIES PREMIERE Secret Princes, 10 p.m., TLC A dating show about four royal bachelors who come to America to find a woman who doesn't know how rich and sorta famous they are. Like Coming to America meets Bachelor Pad, sounds like.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org