On TV this week
SEASON FINALE The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 8 p.m., ABC Family It's time to graduate from high school and let all these kids know that all the drama they worried so much over is just the tip of the iceberg. Grow up, already.
SEASON PREMIERE The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, 9 p.m., Bravo This opener was delayed by Taylor's husband's recent suicide, so expect weeks of uncomfortable and nonsensical storylines tip-toeing around his untimely death.
SEASON FINALE The Glades, 10 p.m., A&E Two ex-cons take hostages at Callie's hospital. What is this, an episode of Grey's Anatomy?
Patton Oswalt Finest Hour, 10 p.m., Showtime Time for sarcasm and fat jokes. And sarcastic fat jokes.
SEASON FINALE Take the Money and Run, 9 p.m., ABC A dating couple are in charge of stashing the cash, only to get grilled by two retired cops. This is make-or-break time for their relationship, finding out if your potential spouse can lie for you, not just to you.
SEASON FINALE Flipping Out, 9 p.m., Bravo Jeff wants to get back into house flipping. Even with his willpower, he can't change the laws of supply and demand.
SEASON PREMIERE The Rachel Zoe Project, 10 p.m., Bravo Who cares about her fashion foibles. Get to showing her new baby already!
SEASON PREMIERE Sons of Anarchy, 10 p.m., FX Clay stresses that arthritis may keep him from riding. It's like every Harley-Davidson executive's worst nightmare.
Web Therapy, 11 p.m., Showtime Continuing the trend of former Friends costars making guest appearances on each other's shows, Courteney Cox shows up in this Lisa Kudrow vehicle. When is Jennifer Aniston going to finally let those two be in one of her awful movies?
SERIES PREMIERE Saved, 9 p.m., Animal Planet A sneak preview of this new series, which is being shown early because it's about two families who dealt with Sept. 11 through their pets.
SERIES FINALE Rescue Me, 10 p.m., FX This Denis Leary vehicle kinda flickered out instead of ending with a bang, didn't it? Now there's a whole new gang at The Rock. Guess that leaves things open for a new series.
SERIES PREMIERE Paranormal Witness, 10 p.m., SyFy People recount their brushes with the paranormal. No, it's not another show about meeting celebrities.
Top Chef: Just Desserts, 10 p.m., Bravo The cheftestants have to create food within a tiny space. That's not impressive; the Japanese do it all the time.
NFL Football, 8: 30 p.m., NBC The season begins with out-of-shape players from New Orleans going to Green Bay, home of sausage and cheese. That lockout affected them worse than we'd feared.
SEASON FINALE Burn Notice, 9 p.m., USA Larry offers Michael a new job. Hopefully it's to be in Bruce Campbell's next movie project.
SEASON FINALE Futurama, 10 p.m., Comedy Central Stephen Hawking returns in an episode reimagining the series in the style of Japanese anime, 1980s video games and classic black and white. Please, don't do another Steamboat Willie send-up.
SEASON FINALE Wilfred, 10 p.m., FX Ryan ignores Wilfred's advice for the first time, which makes sense once you realize Wilfred is a talking dog. But no, on this show, that's a problem.
SEASON FINALE Suits, 10 p.m., USA Harvey fights with a D.A. over getting an innocent prisoner released. Since when did being innocent matter to the justice system?
SEASON FINALE Louie, 10:30 p.m., FX We don't know what the episode is about, but it's possible it may examine how inane the life of a self-loathing comedian is. Just putting that out there.
SEASON FINALE Friends With Benefits, 8:30 p.m., NBC It's the last episode of this show until ABC debuts its own series about two platonic friends having sex all the time, called No Strings Attached. Hey, they should make a movie about that.
Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett Together Again, 9 p.m., HBO Two entertainment legends get together and talk about all the good times they had with people that folks younger than 50 don't know.
9/11: The Days After, 9 p.m., History A commercial-free special about what happened a decade ago, as part of a cornucopia of depression brought to you by every network on television.
SEASON FINALE Torchwood: Miracle Day, 10 p.m., Starz Time to see if someone's going to die, after all.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com