On TV this weekend
ACM Presents: Lionel Richie and Friends — A Lifetime of Hits, 9 p.m., CBS Yes, Lionel Richie has released an album featuring his songs performed as duets with country stars, so they sing some here. After Sinatra did that duet with Bono, we quit being surprised by this type of stuff.
SEASON PREMIERE Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids, 9 p.m., TLC After all these years, you'd think the women on this show would remember how awful they're going to seem after the editors get done with them.
Fairly Legal, 9 p.m., USA The defendant's counsel in a case Ben is working on is a big rival. Isn't any opposing lawyer a big rival during a case?
Magic City, 10 p.m., Starz Ike's son is having an affair with the wife of a Miami crime boss. Well, it was nice knowing him; Ike can always make another one.
SERIES PREMIERE Southern Kitchen, 10:30 a.m., Food Trisha Yearwood gets off the stage to do a cooking show, because every country singer automatically knows how to cook, duh.
MINISERIES PREMIERE Titanic, 8 p.m., ABC Get ready for four nights of people facing certain death in a watery grave. Then turn off the Jersey Shore reruns on MTV and check out this show, made by the Downton Abbey guy.
SEASON PREMIERE Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet The fish tank people create a phone-booth aquarium. Because phone booths sleep with the fishes.
Saturday Night Live, 11:30 p.m., NBC It's too bad Rick Perry is long off the GOP nomination scene, because Josh Brolin woulda totally nailed it.
Titanic at 100: Mystery Solved, 8 p.m., History It turns out it was an iceberg that sank it. Who knew?
SEASON FINALE Shahs of Sunset, 10 p.m., Bravo Next season: In an attempt to stay topical, all the guys will be Syrian instead of Persian.
SERIES PREMIERE NYC 22, 10 p.m., CBS Stop us if you've heard this one before: A show about rookie cops hitting the streets for the first time. It'll be ratings gold! It does have Leelee Sobieski all grown up and playing an Iraq War vet, and Adam Goldberg as a newspaper reporter who joins the cops after getting fired, so it's already got two things going for it.
SERIES PREMIERE Girls, 10:30 p.m., HBO Lena Dunham creates a show that sounds a lot like Friends without those dorky guys living across the hall or the creepy older brother who marries everyone. Except this one is produced by Judd Apatow, so it'll be funnier and way more crass (and have much more nudity).
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org