On TV this weekend
Year of the Quarterback, 7 p.m., ESPN Former Bucs QB Trent Dilfer coaches 11 high-school quarterbacks who are undergoing intensive training. Be careful, because Trent primarily knew a lot about throwing interceptions and falling down.
SERIES PREMIERE Karaoke Battle USA, 9 p.m., ABC In case going to the local bar and watching the drunks sing doesn't do it for you, Joey Fatone shepherds contestants past judges Carnie Wilson, Brian Scott and Joe Levy. Please, no American Pie.
SEASON FINALE Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet In a shocking move, the crew of the Bob Barker board the Japanese whaling mother ship, murder the crew and sink the boat. Well, no, not at all, but that's how they talk it up.
Lavell Crawford: Can a Brother Get Some Love?, 11 p.m., Comedy Central So what if he was runner-up on Last Comic Standing? He's got a special on basic cable now, suckas. Besides, you gonna tell him if you don't think he's funny? Look how huge he is!
Doomsday Prophecy, 9 p.m., SyFy Just once we'd like to see one of these cheesy end-of-the-world movies simply wipe out humanity. 2012 didn't cut it, because those ships went from rich-guy escape pods to floating J.Crew ads in about 10 minutes.
Honeymoon for One, 9 p.m., Hallmark Nicollette Sheridan takes time off from bad-mouthing Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry to run off to a honeymoon in Ireland without her fiance. Don't worry, Edie, next season will be that old ABC show's last, anyway.
i.am.FIRST: Science Is Rock and Roll, 7 p.m., ABC A robotics competition with the Black Eyed Peas and Willow Smith performing. And it isn't even about building battle droids.
CMA Music Festival: Country's Night to Rock, 8 p.m., ABC Catch four nights' worth of country music superstars compressed into one, three-hour special. Hey, whaddya want on free TV?
SERIES FINALE Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes, 8 p.m., OWN First her syndicated talk show ended, now Oprah's reality show is over. WHY HAS SHE FORSAKEN US?!?
SEASON FINALE The Marriage Ref, 10 p.m., NBC The first step to resolving arguments with your spouse is for both of you to agree not to watch this show anymore.
SEASON FINALE Behind the Music: Ricky Martin, 10 p.m., VH1 Surprise! He's gay.
SEASON PREMIERE The Great Food Truck Race 10 p.m., Food For the second season, they should let viewers open food trucks to compete with the regulars. We have a great idea for a sushi truck called GoFish.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org