SEASON PREMIERE: Gone Country, 8 p.m., CMT Sebastian Bach, Jermaine Jackson, Lorenzo Lamas and Sean Young attempt to boot, scoot and boogie their way to country music stardom. Or, um, stardom, period.
SERIES PREMIERE Outsider's Inn, 9 p.m., CMT Marcia Brady, Bobby Brown and Carnie Wilson run a bed and breakfast together. Notice how reality shows are sounding like bad bar jokes these days?
SEASON PREMIERE Instant Beauty Pageant, 9 p.m., Style Letting five mall shoppers be in a pageant may be fun for them, but we're watching to see the faces of the people in the audience when they realize how silly the idea is.
Confessions of a Go-Go Girl, 9 p.m., Lifetime Finally, someone realizes they could make more money as a stripper than they could as a lawyer. And there's actually a need for more strippers, too.
Law & Order: Criminal Intent, 9 p.m., USA Chris Noth is leaving the show after tonight, probably because Carrie Bradshaw wants him at her beck and call.
Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget, 10 p.m., Comedy Central Remind yourself that the family man from Full House is one of the filthiest comedians in the biz. With Uncle Jessie as roast master!
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org and Jay Cridlin email@example.com