On TV this weekend
Teachers Rock, 8 p.m., CBS A roundup of cool teachers that is actually a thinly veiled promo for the movie Won't Back Down. But hey, Meryl Streep, LL Cool J, Usher, Morgan Freeman, Miranda Cosgrove and Dave Grohl talk about their favorite teachers, and Carrie Underwood, Josh Groban, Dierks Bentley and Fun perform.
NFL Preseason Football, 8 p.m., Fox The Baltimore Ravens and the Detroit Lions are a marquee matchup. When's the last time you heard someone say that?
HGTV Green Home Giveaway 2012, 8 p.m., HGTV A viewer wins a 2,300-square-foot, green-built home, plus $100,000 and a GMC Terrain, but has to live in Chattahoochee Hills, Ga. If you're only watching it, you didn't win.
SEASON PREMIERE Boss, 9 p.m., Starz Kelsey Grammer takes a lot of drugs that make him hallucinate. No, on the show. Plus, this season costars Sanaa Lathan, Jonathan Groff and Tip Harris — you may know him better as rapper T.I.
Dog Whisperer, 8 p.m., NatGeo Cesar tries to help 400-pound comedian Ralphie May, whose dog apparently eats all the time. Sometimes these summaries are their own punchline.
The Timey-Wimey of Doctor Who, 9 p.m., BBC America While you're waiting for the next season, 30 Rock's Scott Adsit and comedian Jonah Ray discuss the show's time-travel storylines. That should be simple enough, right?
SERIES DEBUT 10 Kids, 2 Dads, 10 p.m., OWN The mixing and matching of reality show subjects has begun, as we have a huge family presided over by two gay men. We can't wait until they mash up Toddlers & Tiaras with Shark Week!
SEASON PREMIERE Survivorman, 8 p.m., Discovery Les Stroud tries to survive in Mexico for 10 days. Don't go to soccer matches or drink the water.
SERIES PREMIERE Copper, 10 p.m., BBC America Producers from Homicide: Life on the Street made this show about 19th-century New York police officers. Makes perfect sense debuting on a British TV network, doesn't it?
SERIES PREMIERE Married to Jonas, 10 p.m., E! It's like Britney Spears' newlywed show with Kevin Federline, but starring squeaky clean Kevin Jonas and his wife. He's got enough morals and has faded from view just enough that we doubt anything shocking will ever happen.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org