On TV this weekend
Extreme Cribs, 4:30 p.m., MTV Among the people featured in today's showcase are artists Kiaralinda and Todd from Safety Harbor. A live watch party is at Dunedin's Chic A Boom Room, which features some of their art.
Man vs. Wild, 9 p.m., Discovery Finally, we get to meet the camera crew who follow Bear Grylls on his ridiculous adventures and try to find out if they're off screen munching cheeseburgers while he eats bugs and drinks urine.
Life After Dinosaurs, 9 p.m., NatGeo A discussion of the evolutionary history of mammals after the death of the dinosaurs. Or, as the Kansas school system calls it, REDACTED.
Rat Busters NYC, 10 p.m., Animal Planet Another exterminator show, but this time set in New York and without organic and natural methods. You ever try to get rid of a Brooklyn cockroach with Neem oil? They just laugh.
Torchwood: Miracle Day, 10 p.m., Starz Rex tries to prevent the collapse of society. Then he turns on Jersey Shore and realizes he's too late.
William & Catherine: A Royal Romance, 9 p.m., Hallmark Come on, Hallmark, it's been months since Will and Kate got hitched. We expect our dramatizations in a little more timely fashion. And with a little more drama, because this sounds like a snoozefest. How hard could it be? "I'm the Prince of England. Would you like to go out?" Followed by "Yes, please." Movie over.
Killer Mountain, 9 p.m., SyFy Mountain climbers find the entrance to Shangri-La, but it's protected by a giant monster made of cheap CGI code. And that's when you call in the 10th Mountain Division.
2011 MTV Video Music Awards, 9 p.m., MTV Remember when this show mattered? Neither do we, but Katy Perry has 10 nominations, so she's bound to win at least eight. Oh, and Chris Brown will be there, so get ready to boo.
Livin' for the Apocalypse, 10 p.m., TLC A documentary about insane families preparing for the apocalypse, which may or may not be tied to thinly veiled racism over having a black president or fighting Muslims. Good, we need to know whose house to pillage when the end of the world is here.
I Just Want My Pants Back, 11 p.m., MTV A sneak peek at a new series that makes fun of hipsters by following their every ironic move. No, it's not a reality show. You want that, go to whichever faux-dive bar with PBR specials is nearest you.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org