On TV this weekend
DreamWorks Dragons: Gift of the Night Fury, 8 p.m., Fox Dragons left; people find out why, etc. When the networks keep rerunning the same holiday movies in the same year, you know there's a dearth of programming.
Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas, 8:30 p.m., Fox Same as above, but with megafauna.
SEASON PREMIERE Say Yes to the Dress, 9 p.m., TLC Believe it or not, people are still getting married. Good thing that Mayan apocalypse thing didn't go off as planned.
SERIES PREMIERE Teen Trouble, 10 p.m., Lifetime An orphan raised in foster care becomes a behavioral specialist who helps out-of-control youth with tough love and a shade of A Christmas Carol-ish "what if?" scenarios. Like, what if your life was a reality show?
She Made Them Do It, 8 p.m., Lifetime Channing Tatum's wife Jenna is an escaped felon who becomes one of America's most wanted fugitives. It's nice to see she gets a title to go along with his Sexiest Man Alive award.
The Mob Doctor, 9 p.m., Fox This show is so desperate for ratings, it brings in A-listers like Jennifer Beals and Michael Madsen. That explains why it has a new episode on this week.
E! Investigates The Real 50 Shades of Grey, 9 p.m., E! Like everyone else on the planet, we've never read this bestselling book. But we are hoping for some re-enactments, especially of what happens on Page 137. Oops.
Alaska State Troppers, 10 p.m., NatGeo The title of this episode is "Drunk and Dangerous." For all you people heading out Monday night.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org