On TV this weekend
Good Eats: Turn on the Dark, 8 p.m., Food Alton Brown hosts this special about chocolate, so get ready to learn some science about why you are so addicted to the stuff.
Who Do You Think You Are?, 8 p.m., NBC Marisa Tomei traces her family roots, likely so she can find out who had the influence to help her win that Oscar.
Fringe, 9 p.m., Fox Peter, Walter and Olivia are stuck in a city from which they apparently can't escape. Or as most of us call it, our hometown.
Valentine's Day Massacre, 10 p.m., NatGeo What could be more romantic than learning about a bunch of gangsters gunning each other down 80 years ago? Nothing, that's what.
SEASON FINALE CSI: NY, 9 p.m., CBS Shocker of all shockers: It looks like two unconnected murders may actually be related. That never happens on TV.
Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millian, 8 p.m., NatGeo Let's celebrate 150 episodes of calm-submissiveness by quietly watching Cesar discipline stupid dog owners. Gee, we never would have thought a 150-pound guard dog who never goes outside to exercise would have temperament issues.
Jules Verne's The Mysterious Island, 9 p.m., SyFy A group of people is trapped on, well, a mysterious island. The title is the one thing not confusing, although don't confuse it with The Rock's latest flick (New movies, left).
Saturday Night Live, 11:30 p.m., NBC Zooey Deschanel hosts in what is sure to be a whimsical but surprisingly adult episode of SNL.
The 54th Annual Grammy Awards, 8 p.m., CBS Adele is probably going to win a lot of stuff tonight, except Karl Lagerfeld's fashion approval. Read more about that on Page 72.
The British Academy Film Awards, 8 p.m., BBC America It's like the Oscars, but with much more sophisticated accents and surprisingly bawdier humor.
SEASON PREMIERE Worst Cooks in America, 9 p.m., Food The producers haven't selected my mom yet, but that's only because they've never had her meatloaf.
SERIES PREMIERE Full Metal Jousting, 10 p.m., History People died doing this in the Dark Ages, you know. We can only hope.
SERIES PREMIERE Secret Stash, 10 p.m., AMC A reality show set in Jay and Silent Bob's comic store, which was actually created by Kevin Smith. So does that still qualify as a reality show? The folks in Red Bank, N.J., think so.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org