On TV this weekend
The Job , 8 p.m., CBS Five people fight for an editorial assistant job at Cosmopolitan. Did none of them watch The Devil Wears Prada?
Kitchen Nightmares , 8 p.m., Fox A kabob restaurant is failing, just because it has bland food, looks dingy and employs slave labor in the form of the owner's seven unpaid children. Sometimes places should just close, you know?
SERIES PREMIERE Spontaneous Construction , 8 p.m., HGTV Host Ricky Paull Goldin goes on the Interwebs to crowdsource people through Facebook, Twitter, email and more to show up somewhere to help the homeowner. Such is the power of television, to get people to do this work for free. Take a note, Kitchen Nightmares.
Shark Tank , 9 p.m., ABC Kids from New Hampshire ages 12 to 18 create a device that detects unsafe driving. The key to their invention: Pointing out anyone younger than 25 and older than 70 who is behind the wheel.
Pastor Brown , 8 p.m., Lifetime A Baptist pastor is dying and wants his daughter to take over his church. But wait: She's a stripper. Oh, Lifetime, you never disappoint. Well, you do, but in a different way.
Life is but a Dream , 9 p.m., HBO Beyonce codirected this doc that boasts an inside look at the only real diva who can back up her reputation. Sorry, Gaga and Mimi and Madge.
Saturday Night Live , 11:30 p.m., NBC Christoph Waltz hosts a series of tense, languorously paced sketches with lively dialogue that end in shocking explosions of violence and catharsis. Okay, maybe if Tarantino directed tonight's show.
SEASON PREMIERE The Amazing Race , 8 p.m., CBS The 22nd season unfolds with trips to Botswana, Bora Bora and New Zealand, among other places. After hearing tbt*'s head Kiwi talk about that last one, we shudder to think what the contestants may encounter.
2013 NBA All-Star Game , 8 p.m., TNT Thank goodness hockey came back this year, because otherwise we would have had to have paid attention to the rest of the NBA season to know who is playing in this and why.
SEASON FINALE Downton Abbey , 9 p.m., PBS All you whiny, crybaby nerds who moaned about how the magic was gone this season have one more night, then you've got to shut yer gobs for a few months. Spend them parsing all the class-based arguments and consider the fact the show is about how certain levels of quality of life simply can't be maintained.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org