On TV this weekend
SERIES FINALE Chuck, 8 p.m., NBC Here are two final episodes for all you people who stuck with this one long enough to keep it from being canceled outright. You're welcome.
SEASON PREMIERE Spartacus: Vengeance, 10 p.m., Starz Liam McIntyre replaces poor Andy Whitfield, who tragically died of cancer. Liam starts a slave revolt to make it up to Andy.
SERIES PREMIERE Bering Sea Gold, 10 p.m., Discovery Another Alaska show, this time about people hunting for gold under the Bering Sea. And you thought crab fishing was an uncomfortable and dangerous job.
The Pregnancy Project, 8 p.m., Lifetime Alexa Vega from Spy Kids is a high school senior pretending to be pregnant as part of a sociological experiment. Just don't study any anatomy by Braille and nothing bad will happen.
Swamp Volcano, 9 p.m., SyFy A gigantic, lava-spewing cone that could destroy humanity forms in Miami, of all places. Wow, voters are really mad about that new Marlins stadium.
U.S. Figure Skating Championships, 9 p.m., NBC It's time for all of us to become experts on the execution of triple axels and Salchows again. Those judges with years of experience can never get it right.
19th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, 8 p.m., TNT and TBS We're getting closer to the Oscars, because now two networks are carrying the same ego-stroking blabfest.
SERIES PREMIERE Luck, 9 p.m., HBO Dustin Hoffman slums it on HBO for a while so he can play with the horsies. Expect 19 Emmy nominations.
A Smile As Big as the Moon, 9 p.m., ABC John Corbett is a teacher who takes his special-ed class to Space Camp. Just don't let another thermal curtain failure happen.
SEASON FINALE Kourtney & Kim Take New York, 10 p.m., E! Will all of America come to its senses and realize this family has absolutely no reason to be on TV, or will Kim wear a bikini again and make everyone forget? Find out tonight!
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com