On TV this weekend
SERIES PREMIERE Howie Do It, 8 p.m., NBC Instead of giving Everyday Joes a chance to win $1 million, Howie Mandel will don wigs and play pranks on them. Just as good.
SEASON PREMIERE Flashpoint, 9 p.m., CBS Some rich lady gets kidnapped. Possibly as collateral on that third mortgage.
SERIES FINALE Stargate: Atlantis, 9 p.m., Sci Fi The show ends with Earth being destroyed when the name of Jason Momoa's new baby is said aloud. Find out what it is on The Juice* on Page 54.
SEASON PREMIERE Psych, 10 p.m., USA It's like Monk, but with faux psychic abilities instead of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
SEASON PREMIERE Monk, 9 p.m., USA It's like Psych, but with obsessive-compulsive disorder instead of faux psychic abilities.
SEASON PREMIERE Comedy Central Presents, 10 p.m., Comedy Central Please, we could use a laugh.
Expecting a Miracle, 9 p.m., Hallmark Remember when Jason Priestley did bigger things than acting in a Hallmark movie about a couple stuck in a Mexican town with Cheech Marin?
SERIES PREMIERE Tool Academy, 10 p.m., VH1 Nine jerks go to a relationship school to prove to their girlfriends they're really worth keeping around. If they get eliminated, their chicks dump them, too, so it's like a double dose of schadenfreude.
The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards, 8 p.m., NBC Three hours of trying to decide if this year's Oscars will be worth watching.
SEASON PREMIERE 24, 8 p.m., Fox All the rest of this trash is just a run-up to the return of Jack Bauer. We cannot wait to hear how they explain Tony Almeida coming back from the dead.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org and Jay Cridlin email@example.com