On TV this weekend
The Chopping Block, 8 p.m., NBC This whole show has turned into one giant ego stroke for Marco. Pass.
Surviving Suburbia, 8 p.m., ABC Steve encourages Anne to quit volunteer work and get a job. Gee, we bet no one has considered that in this economy.
Eureka, 8 p.m., SyFy Returning from its midseason finale, the show picks up with Carter no longer sheriff and replaced by a cyborg. That brings new meaning to being terminated.
Mental, 9 p.m., Fox Tourette's syndrome is always good for some cheap laughs, right?
SERIES PREMIERE Keyshawn Johnson: Tackling Design, Noon, A&E How can Keyshawn hate ceiling fans after spending so much time down south? We'll be interested to see if this show gets canceled a few weeks into the season because this crybaby's unhappy with his new gig as an interior decorator.
SERIES FINALE Harper's Island, 9 p.m., CBS Ever watch this show? Neither did anyone else.
SERIES FINALE Eli Stone, 10 p.m., ABC To be fair, basing a show on a guy who hears George Michael in his head wasn't the brightest move.
SEASON PREMIERE Entourage, 10:30 p.m., HBO The descent into mediocrity continues.
SERIES PREMIERE Drop Dead Diva, 9 p.m., Lifetime A dead model's soul migrates to a fat attorney's body. Wow, that can offend all sorts of people if they do it right.
MINISERIES PREMIERE Meteor, 9 p.m., NBC Doc Brown from Back to the Future tries to stop a big rock from falling on the Earth. Try showing it some episodes of E! reality shows — they'll repel anything.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com