On TV this weekend
Louisiana Lockdown, 10 p.m., Animal Planet Is it just us, or is Louisiana the new Alaska of reality shows? It's probably because people actually live there.
Cajun Justice, 10 p.m., A&E They also get in a lot of trouble, too. Just read The Juice* on Page 75.
Don Friesen: Ask Your Mom, 10 p.m., Showtime After this week, we need a few laughs. The two-time winner of the San Francisco International Comedy Competition should be able to do it.
Common Law, 10 p.m., USA Wes and Travis chase a pair pretending to be Bonnie and Clyde. Oliver Stone won't be making a movie about them, so they really should give up now.
Tall Hot Blonde, 8 p.m., Lifetime Courteney Cox directs this sappy yarn about Garret Dillahunt cybercheating on Laura San Giacomo. Oh, so this is a mystery, then.
SERIES FINALE How to Be a Gentleman, 8:30 p.m., CBS One last rule: Bow out of your lackluster series with some grace and humility.
Arachnoquake, 9 p.m., SyFy Edward Furlong from Terminator 2 and Tracey Gold from Growing Pains battle giant spiders attacking New Orleans. That entire combination of words makes this perhaps the best stupid SyFy movie ever made.
SERIES PREMIERE The Newsroom, 10 p.m., HBO An Aaron Sorkin-written series in which Jeff Daniels plays a milquetoast cable news anchor who finally flips the script and starts reporting real news instead of just trying to misinform or scare the public for ratings, so you can see why we're excited about it. If this were the real world, his show would be off the air in three weeks.
The 39th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards, 8 p.m., HLN Speaking of cable news anchors who don't report real news, Anderson Cooper and Barbara Walters are among the presenters this year. Working hard, I see.
TV Land Presents: The AFI Life Achievement Award Honoring Shirley MacLaine, 9 p.m., TV Land And then Shirley can be reincarnated and win it all over again!
SERIES PREMIERE The Great Escape, 10 p.m., TNT It's like The Amazing Race, but with three pairs of people trying to escape Alcatraz. Well that's easy; just take the ferry back to San Francisco.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org