On TV this weekend
Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, 9 p.m., ABC Jamie Lee Curtis gives Jamie an award for trying to make fat kids skinny. Because the L.A. school system sure ain't gonna give him one.
Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet A year after the Ady Gil, it's looking like the title of this show may become quite literal as the Gojira shoots at a harpoon ship. Scary.
SERIES PREMIERE Flea Man, 8 p.m., NatGeo Can we please stop with the shows that sift through people's old junk looking for deals? Picking through all these horrible reality shows is bad enough.
SERIES PREMIERE Paranormal Challenge, 9 p.m., Travel Now ghost hunters are spending an entire night in a haunted place to see if it's haunted. Guess what: It's not.
Outrageous Food, 10 p.m., Food Tom Pizzica takes on a 7-pound bowl of soup at Pho 87 in Las Vegas. My 95-pound Vietnamese mother-in-law could finish that thing in 30 minutes flat.
SEASON FINALE Cops, 8 p.m., Fox Lemme guess: Some dirtbag does something wrong, harasses the arresting officer, leaves in a squad car and leaves the cops shaking their heads in world-weary hopelessness. It writes itself, you know.
SEASON FINALE America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Fox And here's the last we'll see of the ones they don't catch. For a few months, anyway.
SERIES PREMIERE Celebrity Close Calls, 10 p.m., Bio Yancy Butler, Cheryl Tiegs and Ed Begley Jr. have to deal with near misses of all sorts. Kinda like their careers.
SERIES PREMIERE Come Fly with Me, 11:30 p.m., BBC America A mockumentary of a British airport where apparently the most exciting thing that ever happens is getting a random Spice Girl dropping by. That's how we always pictured air travel in the U.K.
SERIES PREMIERE Falling Skies, 9 p.m., TNT The Walking Dead proved that nerd fans love them a well-done TV show, so let's substitute aliens for zombies and see how that works on basic cable. Plus: No kids, because the aliens kidnap them all.
SEASON FINALE The Killing, 10 p.m., AMC We don't want to spoil anything, but there may be a last-minute plot twist here. They've got to get picked up for another season, you know.
38th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards, 8 p.m., CBS Since the networks will soon cancel all the soap operas anyway, you'd better enjoy this pointless award show while you can.
2011 Miss USA Pageant, 9 p.m., NBC Because so many of the girls say truly idiotic things and get on YouTube, this has gone from a swimsuit-ogling evening to a date with the DVR hoping to find the next Miss South Carolina. Thanks, Internet!
TV Land Presents: The AFI Life Achievement Award Honoring Morgan Freeman, 9 p.m., TV Land Whew, it's about time Morgan Freeman won something.
SEASON PREMIERE Drop Dead Diva. 9 p.m., Lifetime Really, the only reason to watch is to see if LeAnn Rimes has a breakdown onscreen.
SERIES PREMIERE Ryan and Tatum: The O'Neals, 10 p.m., OWN Because the baby boomers are too busy wondering who the Kardashians are, Oprah decided to step into the reality show game with the perfect family.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com