On TV this weekend
Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet The Brigitte Bardot's crew must abandon ship from all the damage, which they really should expect when they go blocking giant whaling vessels.
Say Yes to the Dress, 9:30 p.m., TLC There are two episodes tonight, including a woman shopping 90 days before her wedding and another shopping after she lost 50 pounds. So it's kind of a worst-case/best-case sort of evening.
Louisiana Lockdown, 10 p.m., Animal Planet An inmate serving a life sentence gets to meet his grandfather for the first time. Nice to see it runs in the family.
Common Law, 10 p.m., USA Dr. Ryan tells Wes and Travis to switch roles so they get to know each other better. They probably won't fight about that at all.
SEASON PREMIERE My Cat From Hell, 8 p.m., Animal Planet Why do these people have so many problems with their cats? You'd think it would occur to them that they're probably dog people.
Fugitive at 17, 8 p.m., Lifetime The true mystery is whether Lifetime knew it was hiring Casper Van Dien to star in its movie.
Bigfoot, 9 p.m., SyFy Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams unite to bring all the forces of The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family together to fight awful CGI. They lose.
SEASON PREMIERE Episodes, 10:30 p.m., Showtime For people who loved Joey from Friends, here's another season of Matt LeBlanc. And for people who hated Joey after Friends, here's another season of Matt LeBlanc.
MINISERIES PREMIERE Queen & Country, 8 p.m., PBS Ever wonder where the British monarchs get all their customs and traditions? Well, try to look interested, anyway.
The BET Awards 12, 8 p.m., BET Twelve years and counting of not getting the sort of recognition the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards get.
SEASON PREMIERE Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime If you want some answers to this whipsaw of a series, this is your last chance, because it's gone after this season. Put down the Cheetos and pay attention.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org