On TV this weekend
SERIES PREMIERE Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet What will these folks do if commercial whaling is ever banned? Something tells us sugar plantations in Brazil or palm oil groves in Indonesia would be in big trouble.
Outrageous Food, 10 p.m., Food Tony Pizzica tries out a giant grill that weighs 27 tons. Little does he know it's used to cook full-sized food show hosts. Also, a 10-pound hash brown.
Camelot, 10 p.m., Starz Merlin figures out he's been seduced by Morgan. That would explain why all the furniture in the castle is now from Pottery Barn and there's a potpourri jar in the garderobe.
Niecy Nash's Wedding Bash, 8 p.m., TLC In case you ever wondered what happened to her after Dancing with the Stars: She got married. There, now you don't need to waste two hours.
Surviving D-Day, 9 p.m., Discovery Re-creations of the Normandy invasion were way better before cheap CGI made it all look like a cartoon.
Red Faction: Origins, 9 p.m., SyFy If you thought releasing an animated feature tie-in to coincide with the release of video game Dead Space a couple years back was too much, wait until you get a load of this live-action job coinciding with the arrival of Red Faction: Armageddon.
The Ultimate Finale, 9 p.m., Spike Time to pick the winner of the UFC contract. It'll be whichever guy can still sign his name after tonight.
2011 MTV Movie Awards Jason Sudeikis hosts the annual summer event celebrating Hollywood excess. No, not another Pirates of the Caribbean sequel.
SERIES PREMIERE Finding Big Foot, 10 p.m., Animal Planet It will take this show six episodes to inform us that no, he hasn't been found.
SEASON PREMIERE The Real L Word, 10 p.m., Showtime We don't care about them being lesbians, but watching another show set in California is really grating.
SEASON PREMIERE The Glades, 10 p.m., A&E But mobsters in Florida? That's much more entertaining.
SERIES PREMIERE Teen Wolf, 11 p.m., MTV Yep, MTV's big idea is to make a TV show out of an old movie about a legendary monster most people — including the stars — would rather forget. Hey, it worked for Buffy.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com