TV this weekend
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC A Florida couple pitch an anti-cellulite project. Yeah, it's called turning off the TV and getting up off the couch.
SEASON PREMIERE Fairly Legal, 9 p.m., USA Kate has a new romantic prospect to consider, as if her pending divorce wasn't moving quickly enough.
SEASON PREMIERE Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC Groups of four women continue to bash each other's weddings in a bleak attempt to win a dream honeymoon. Or you could save a few buck here and there by ditching basic cable and not watching this show.
SEASON PREMIERE In Plain Sight, 10 p.m., USA This is the last season of this show, so maybe some questions can finally be answered. Like, will USA ever make a show that has better ratings than a WWE production?
Chasing Leprechauns, 8 p.m., Hallmark Why get drunk for St. Patrick's Day when you can get drunk and watch this schmaltzy wannabe rom-com?
Leprechaun's Revenge, 9 p.m., SyFy As if the title and monstrous leprechaun wasn't bad enough, this one stars Billy Zane, so it's automatically bad. Titanic doesn't count.
SERIES PREMIERE Frozen Planet, 8 p.m., Discovery Alec Baldwin narrates a show about life at the poles. That's a nice change from cable news' obsession with life at the polls.
SEASON FINALE The Walking Dead, 9 p.m., AMC After an entire season of camping out in the open at a Georgia farm, the gang finally remembers they're on a zombie show and must survive an onslaught of the undead. We went from endless debate to nonstop mutilation in only three episodes!
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com