On TV this weekend
Alaska Wing Men, 8 p.m., NatGeo Topography requires Drake to make a landing on a narrow strip of gravel, which is apparently more dangerous than landing on a narrow strip of tarmac.
Supernatural, 9 p.m., CW Dean tries to figure out why a New Jersey restaurant's signature sandwich is making people go crazy. Please! Hasn't he ever had a Primanti Bros. in Pittsburgh? Talk about going insane — there are french fries and cole slaw on all the sandwiches!
Gold Rush, 9 p.m., Discovery The season is over, so Todd and Co. talk to producers about how they felt during it. This brings us one step closer to a universe-ending singularity as Bravo and Discovery meld into one network.
Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC A Chicago police officer offers edible handcuffs as a wedding favor, officially winning the title of kinkiest guest takeaway.
SERIES PREMIERE Q'Viva! The Chosen, 8 p.m., Fox Here's that American Idol ripoff starring Jennifer Lopez and her then-hubby Marc Anthony. Well, we're not going to give this one's shelf life much time.
Blue-Eyed Butcher, 8 p.m., Lifetime A retelling of the love story featuring Jeffrey and Susan Wright, the Texas couple who ended things abruptly when Susan stabbed Jeff 193 times and buried him in the backyard. She ended up with 20 years in prison, but the rest of this story's accuracy is suspect at best.
SERIES PREMIERE Deadly Sins, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery People who take their material desires one step too far and end up killing someone. Do we really need a new pair of shoes that badly?
SEASON PREMIERE Killer ER, 10 p.m., Health Killer bees are on the loose, looking for people who kill to fulfill their personal needs. Wait, no, that's just what the people from Deadly Sins deserve.
Saturday Night Live, 11:30 p.m., NBC Lindsay Lohan hosts. That's the plan, anyway. For more on that, turn to Page 74.
SEASON FINALE Napoleon Dynamite, 8:30 p.m., Fox Napolean considers ditching Pedro for a girl. About time for that, don't you think?
SERIES PREMIERE GCB, 10 p.m., ABC A show about a mean-spirited woman who heads home to Dallas after her marriage fails. The title used to stand for Good Christian Bitches, but they changed it to Good Christian Belles, because all the GCBs wouldn't stand for it.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org