On TV this weekend
SEASON FINALE Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC This week we see a home gym, some cosmetics and a shoe made of recycled materials. You mean, like old shoes?
SEASON FINALE Nikita, 8 p.m., CW A building blows up at the end, and Maggie Q shoots people. That's enough for us.
Who Do You Think You Are?, 8 p.m., NBC Tonight is Paula Deen, so the answer is, a "lard-slathered, diabetic hypocrite."
SEASON FINALE Supernatural, 9 p.m., CW Sam and Dean have to square off with a tough opponent. We'd be scared of someone named Dick Roman, too.
SEASON FINALE Grimm, 9 p.m., NBC Nick and Hank are dealing with a series of murders, but it just makes them want to find more gold coins. It's nice when a major plot device of the show is reminiscent of Super Mario Bros.
SEASON FINALE Whale Wars: Viking Shores, 10 p.m., Animal Planet The Sea Shepherds are proud no whales have been killed while they've been on patrol, but then again, no pilot whales have been seen. That kinda makes it hard to claim any sort of victory.
American Warship, 9 p.m., SyFy Not to be confused with Battleship, which is also about a naval vessel fighting aliens. Difference: This one has Mario Van Peebles.
SEASON FINALE That Metal Show, 11 p.m., VH1 Classic Vinnie Paul from Pantera, Steve Stevens and Tommy Shaw from Styx close out the season. The rock purists will prefer this over Saturday Night Live.
SEASON FINALE Saturday Night Live, 11:30 p.m., NBC Mick Jagger is hosting, so there's a good chance Adam Levine and Christina Aguilera from The Voice could make a "surprise" appearance. It would also be a surprise if Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudeikis return next year.
The 2012 Billboard Music Awards, 8 p.m., ABC Or as you may know it, the Significantly Less Entertaining Than The Grammys Because The Artists Don't Care Awards. Now! With Carrie Underwood and Justin Bieber!
SEASON FINALE The Celebrity Apprentice, 9 p.m., NBC A three-way battle among Clay Aiken, Arsenio Hall and Aubrey O'Day, which may or may not be the last time you hear those names used in the same sentence as the term "three-way."
Jesse Stone: Benefit of the Doubt, 9 p.m., CBS Our annual reminder that Tom Selleck doesn't just play a police commissioner on Blue Bloods; he also plays police chief Jesse Stone in these TV movies.
SEASON FINALE Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox Time for fan mail. You people know this is a cartoon, right?
SEASON PREMIERE Keeping Up With the Kardashians, 9 p.m., E! Real network series are drawing to a close, so the dark time of reality-show premieres worships its goddess with a new season of this disaster.
SERIES PREMIERE Mrs. Eastwood & Company, 10 p.m., E! Want a concept out of leftfield? Clint Eastwood's wife manages a group of male singers from South Africa. They must just write words on cards, throw them up in the air and see what kind of shows they get from it.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org