On TV this weekend
Friday Night Lights, 8 p.m., NBC The Lions are embarrassed about a secret revealed on a website. Spoiler alert: All the players are just actors.
SERIES PREMIERE River Monsters: The Lost Reels, 9 p.m., Animal Planet Another spinoff of this show, this time featuring older footage not shown on the TV show. Riveting.
Hooked, 9 p.m., NatGeo How can we not recommend a show featuring scientists attempting to control the alien carp invasion by shooting the fish in midair? That's what should be on River Monsters.
SERIES PREMIERE My Favorite Place, 6 p.m., HGTV Lara Spencer apparently decided to decorate Kathy Griffin's house by going to garage sales. Wow, celebrities really are like us!
SERIES PREMIERE From Spain With Love, 9:30 p.m., Cooking Channel Food writer Annie Sibonney travels through Spain and tries all the delicacies. Big deal. We'll be impressed with From Bangladesh With Love. Get on that, would you?
SEASON FINALE The Antonio Treatment, 9:30 p.m., HGTV Antonio builds a modern craftsman bedroom. That's craftsman style, but made mostly of MDF by a machine. The Stickley brothers are rolling in their graves.
Revolver Golden Gods Awards, 10 p.m., VH1 Classic There are no more Saturday Night Live episodes to be disappointed with, so we'll watch Alice Cooper, Sebastian Bach and Duff McKagan remind us that any show in which Chris Jericho is the host has to be at least mildly entertaining.
Indianapolis 500, noon, ABC What could be more American than open-wheel racers at the Brickyard? Don't tell Danica Patrick.
NASCAR Coca-Cola 600, 5:30 p.m., Fox What could be more American than people driving in a circle in North Carolina? Don't tell Kyle Busch.
The National Memorial Day Concert, 8 p.m., PBS What could be more American than listening to American Idol reject Pia Toscano? Don't tell Scotty McCreery.
Iced with Sylvia Weinstock, 9 p.m., WEtv What could be more American than watching a special about a woman who makes cakes for a living? Don't tell Duff Goldman.
SEASON PREMIERE Basketball Wives, 8 p.m., VH1 Now that Evelyn is engaged to the NFL's Chad Ochocinco, does she even qualify to be on this show?
Gettysburg, 9 p.m., History The network celebrates 150 years of bloodshed, American mythmaking and chess sets. Take that, Ken Burns!
Single Ladies, 9 p.m., VH1 Imagine Carrie Bradshaw moved to Atlanta and had more than just white friends, and you would have this movie, which is the pilot for a new series.
SEASON FINALE Breakout Kings, 10 p.m., A&E Carmen Vega escapes while attending her son's funeral. At last, he was finally good for something.
SERIES PREMIERE Platinum Hit, 10 p.m., Bravo American Idol refugee Kara DioGuardi and Jewel Kilcher shepherd this series that's like all the other music competitions, but this time focusing on the songwriters. Yeah, like they have anything to do with the big hits.
SEASON FINALE The Hard Times of RJ Berger, 10 p.m., MTV Two episodes of this one-joke series close out the year. It's amazing it made it through two seasons.
SERIES PREMIERE Surprise Homecoming, 10 p.m., TLC Servicemen and women come home to their families. Too bad Billy Ray Cyrus is there, too.
SERIES PREMIERE Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, 10 p.m., ABC Another weight-loss show, to give hope to all the obese people sitting on their couch watching it.
SERIES PREMIERE Finding Bigfoot, 11 p.m., Animal Planet A collection of dorks travel the country examining evidence of Sasquatch. And here we thought he was chillin' in NoCal exclusively.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com