On TV this weekend
SERIES PREMIERE Nature's Most Amazing Events, 8 p.m., Discovery If you think about it on a philosophical level, even the squirrels crossing telephone wires in your back yard is a pretty amazing event.
SEASON PREMIERE What Not to Wear, 9 p.m., TLC Mayim Bialik is the guest victim for the latest season. Why does Blossom get all the good stuff? The wife and all her friends would much rather get $5,000 to blow on clothes.
Un-Broke: What You Need to Know About Money, 9 p.m., ABC No. 1: You don't have any. No. 2: Guest star Will Smith has plenty.
Safe Harbor, 9 p.m., Hallmark A true story starring Treat Williams? Saturday is suddenly booked.
Pushing Daisies, 10 p.m., ABC Showing new episodes of this show will only remind you that you should've been watching it before they canceled the series.
SEASON FINALE The Hills, 8 p.m., MTV Now that Lauren Conrad is leaving, our hatred of Speidi will only get worse.
2009 MTV Movie Awards, 9 p.m., MTV Want to make this show watchable? Make it 30 minutes, and 25 of those belong to host Andy Samberg doing musical skits with Justin Timberlake.
SERIES PREMIERE Into the Storm, 9 p.m., HBO Brendan Gleeson takes over as our favorite overweight, boozy world leader of yore, Winston Churchill.
SEASON FINALE Breaking Bad, 10 p.m., AMC After this season is over, all we'll have is the local news pages to tell us tales of chaotic, meth-filled rage among neighbors.
SERIES PREMIERE HGTV's $250,000 Challenge, 10 p.m., HGTV The challenge? Find a characterless, cookie-cutter home in the McBurbs that can bring that kind of cash in this market.
SERIES PREMIERE Expedition Africa: Stanley & Livingstone, 10 p.m., History Four idiots travel a similar route the Civil War deserter and journalist took to find a lost missionary. They do know most of that caravan died or ran off, right?
SERIES PREMIERE Jesse James Is a Dead Man, 10 p.m., Spike What will Sandra Bullock say when her tattooed, scooter-trash hubby ends up smeared all over the road after riding machines that hit 0 to 100 mph in one second? Not much, 'cause the bike builder is filthy rich.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com