On TV this weekend
Smallville, 8 p.m., CW Tess kidnaps Lois to find out where she went when she disappeared for weeks. Perhaps some other wingnut kidnapped her, wanting to know something.
Medium, 9 p.m., CBS Allison wears sunglasses that show numbers linked to people's life expectancy. Tip: Do not look in the mirror.
Platinum Babies, 9 p.m., WE A rich Southern California couple blow $20,000 on a tea party for a baby shower and $31,000 on a photographer. Meanwhile, we found a perfectly good crib in the dumpster out back.
Austin City Limits, 9 p.m., PBS The fact that Pearl Jam is headlining a PBS show tells you how old the Gen Xers are getting.
The Wanda Sykes Show, 11 p.m., Fox Who would have thought Taylor Swift would upstage Wanda in the funny department last week? Let's give her another chance, no matter how grim it seems.
2009 American Music Awards, 8 p.m., ABC We'll be ignoring this one just as much as the Grammys and the VMAs, even though Lady Gaga is performing again. Someone wake us when they hand out an award for the music executive who figures out how to fix the recording industry's broken business model.
SEASON FINALE Curb Your Enthusiasm, 9 p.m., HBO You know who we really missed during all this? Newman.
SEASON FINALE The Next Iron Chef, 9 p.m., Food Time to pick a new face of a franchise that's nowhere near as cool as the original. It's kind of like trying to decide who will play Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels, you know?
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com