On TV this weekend
Most Haunted Live!, 8 p.m., Travel Is Gettysburg haunted? Sure, why not. Will they get proof live on camera? Don't hold your breath.
Stargate Atlantis, 9 p.m., Sci-Fi Jackson and McKay have to reactive the Attero device. Wait, doesn't that destroy the stargates? It sure changes time slots.
Life, 10 p.m., NBC A university's prison experiment goes horribly wrong when a student acting as a corrections officer ends up dead. They must have been pretending it was the prison from that old HBO show Oz.
SERIES PREMIERE The Starter Wife, 9 p.m., USA Last year Debra Messing proved she didn't need Will to hold up a miniseries, so now USA is letting her try it out as a series. Good luck.
SEASON PREMIERE The Graham Norton Show, 10 p.m., BBC America Graham having Eddie Izzard as a guest is like setting up a mirror in the chair opposite his desk.
Fox Reality Channel Really Awards 2008, 10 p.m., Fox Reality Any awards show involving Corey Feldman likely isn't worth watching. But who knows? Maybe Danny Bonaduce will show and beat someone up again.
SERIES PREMIERE Rock of Love Charm School With Sharon Osbourne, 9 p.m., VH1 What do a bunch of girls not good enough for Bret Michaels do to improve themselves? Pal around with the woman who snared Ozzy, of course.
SERIES PREMIERE The Chef Jeff Project, 10 p.m., Food Jeff Henderson, who served prison time for dealing drugs, tries to instill the same passion for cooking that he found to turn six kids' lives around. And no, we don't mean cooking rocks.
Desperate Housewives, 9 p.m., ABC Apparently, in five years, no one we know will be likeable.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org