On TV this weekend
Ghost Whisperer, 8 p.m., CBS A threatening e-mail chain is preying on Grandview. It's likely another gossip mag quoting Jennifer Love Hewit that she's really a size 5.
SEASON PREMIERE 'Til Death, 8:30 p.m., Fox Somehow, given recent events in the news, we don't like the idea of Ally and her husband Doug living in a tent in the back yard.
SERIES PREMIERE Stargate Universe, 9 p.m., Syfy Another go-round with the gates, this time with a cast featuring three faves — Robert Carlyle, Lou Diamond Phillips and Ming Na — trying to escape some sort of limbo. On the show, not in their careers. Well, that too.
SEASON PREMIERE DietTribe, 9 p.m., Lifetime Five women continue to try to lose weight by staying home and watching TV on a Friday night.
SERIES PREMIERE SuperFetch, 8 p.m., Animal Planet Trainer Zak George teaches your pooch how to do stuff like make the bed and get you a beer. But do you really want him learning so much? That's just one more person who wants to use the remote.
SERIES PREMIERE Celebrity Ghost Stories, 10 p.m., Bio Is this a show about what happened to the careers of Robert Carlyle, Lou Diamond Phillips and Ming Na?
Saturday Night Live, 11:30 p.m., NBC Tonight we're only watching to see if Lady Gaga uses the F-word on live TV again. Oh, West Coast, finally there's something you miss out on.
SEASON PREMIERE America's Funniest Home Videos, 7 p.m., ABC More crotch shots, broken teeth and dreadful accidents that make you laugh heartily out of schadenfreude.
SERIES PREMIERE Dallas Divas & Daughters, 8 p.m., Style More overprivileged people from North Texas, because their money and indifference to greater society wasn't bad enough.
SERIES PREMIERE Three Rivers, 9 p.m., CBS Networks need a medical drama transplant, STAT! Here's one about transplant surgeons, organ donors and their recipients, for three times the fun.
SERIES PREMIERE My Monkey Baby, 9 p.m., TLC Did the people who own pet monkeys and treat them like they were people not hear about that chimp who ripped that woman's face off?
Curb Your Enthusiasm, 9 p.m., HBO The Seinfeld reunion plotline begins. Only a few more weeks and we won't have to hear about it anymore.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org