On TV this weekend
Smallville, 8 p.m., CW Lois gets superpowers. Beyond being super-naggy, that is.
Fatal Attractions, 9 p.m., Animal Planet A woman who likes to feed the bears is in big trouble when she tries to break up a fight between a male bear and a cub. So, in a way, she ends up literally feeding the bears.
Ghost Adventures, 9 p.m., Travel The crew heads to an old home for the mentally ill because the paint in the halls is peeling. Well, duh, have you guys ever dealt with the humidity in western Pennsylvania?
My Super Psycho Sweet 16 Part 2, 10 p.m., MTV At least now we have proof that MTV realizes the only reason we watched those spoiled brats and their extravagant birthday parties was so we could hate them.
The Boy Who Cried Werewolf, 8 p.m., Nickelodeon You know the moral: if you keep crying werewolf when there isn't one, no one will help you when you turn into one.
Growing the Big One, 9 p.m., Hallmark Noteworthy only because it features Shannen Doherty playing a DJ who inherits a pumpkin farm. What range!
First Life With David Attenborough, 8 p.m., Discovery Jeez, we were wondering when Attenborough would get around to explaining things. Warning: He's going to prove to you the planet is more than 6,000 years old, so plan accordingly.
MINISERIES PREMIERE Sherlock, 9 p.m., PBS Benedict Cumberbatch plays the famous detective, set in the contemporary world. As cheesy and ironic as the hipsters get, they probably won't even blink when he wears that Deerstalker.
SERIES DEBUT Football Wives, 10:30 p.m., VH1 In case T.O. and Ocho Cinco get bored, here's a whole passel of women who alternately berate their husbands to death and secretly quake in fear of 'roid rage.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org