On TV this weekend
SEASON PREMIERE Real Simple. Real Life, 8 p.m., TLC A woman is so overcome by her need for perfection she tries on 10 outfits every morning and is afraid to have guests over for fear they'll discover her dirty secret that she's not a superhero.
Life, 10 p.m., NBC Crews and Reese have to find an escaped criminal in the chaos after a big L.A. earthquake.
Sanctuary, 10 p.m., Sci-Fi The gang loses their latest collectible when it escapes its cage and attacks the pilot of the plane its on, causing it to crash in the Hindu Kush mountain range. It would be no big deal, except then it starts eating the passengers. Airline service is really bad these days, huh?
Paula's Party, 8 p.m., Food Paula invites Richard Simmons, Ana Gasteyer and Kyle Massey over for a Halloween show. Great, a cooking show in which none of the guests eat.
World's Ugliest Dog Competition 2008, 10 p.m., Animal Planet Notice how late they put this on, so as not to frighten all the little kids.
Generation Gap, 9 p.m., Hallmark Ed Asner plays mentor to Alex Black. Wait, Ed Asner's still alive? Sweet!
SEASON FINALE Mad Men, 10 p.m., AMC The season comes to a close as the agency realizes the entire advertising-driven media infrastructure is crumbling because people just DVR every show and skip the commercials. Oh, wait, that's real life.
SEASON PREMIERE Nature, 8 p.m., PBS Twenty-seven seasons of making parents feel like their kids watch at least one good hour of TV a week.
SEASON PREMIERE Cities of the Underworld, 9 p.m., History They're just now getting to London? You'd think they'd do all the big cities first.
SERIES PREMIERE My Fair Wedding, 9 p.m., WEtv Once again, we learn that often the biggest obstacle to a wedding going smoothly is the bride.
Inside New Orleans High, 10 p.m., NatGeo A documentary that follows three students at a New Orleans high school. This heartbreaker is why you need to make the kids watch Nature.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com