On TV this weekend
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW If Tyra really wanted to teach the models a thing or two, she'd have the requirement for the trip to Jamaica be for the girls to have to find it on a map. No one would ever go anywhere on this show.
SEASON PREMIERE Kitchen Nightmares, 8 p.m., Fox New episodes. More yelling. It's like Fox News, but with food instead of politics.
Pauly Shore's Pauly-tics, 9 p.m., Showtime Pauly Shore interviews Herman Cain, Michael Steele and Ralph Nader. Yes, that Pauly Shore.
SERIES PREMIERE Health Inspectors, 10:30 p.m., Food While we understand the inevitability of a reality show about health inspectors checking into restaurant violations, we strongly urge you to consider whether you really want to know the kinds of things they find in eateries. Note the show is on after prime time.
Rise of the Zombies, 9 p.m., SyFy Mariel Hemingway stars as a doctor leading a group of refugees during the zompocalypse. They were hiding on Alcatraz, but as we all know, George Romero made zombies aware they can't drown back during Land of the Dead.
SEASON PREMIERE The Graham Norton Show, 11 p.m., BBC America It's a big season opener, with the philandering Governator showing up in England for a spot of interview. You know, in case Saturday Night Live isn't doing it for you.
D.L. Hughley: The Endangered List, 11 p.m., Comedy Central Then again, if you want an American take on humor, watch D.L. Hughley interview people (including white supremacists) about trying to save an endangered species: the black man.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians: Dishing It Out, 9 p.m., E! No idea what it's about. It's got never-before-seen clips of something on it, though.
The Walking Dead, 9 p.m., AMC Finally, we meet the Governor. You're really not going to like this guy, TV-only viewers. What, you thought they were making Rick the villain?
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org