On TV this weekend
SEASON PREMIERE What Not to Wear, 9 p.m., TLC Does redressing Mindy Cohn from The Facts of Life even qualify as stunt casting? She was Natalie, for cryin' out loud! It's not like she was a fashion plate to begin with.
Orny Adams: Takes the Third, 11:30 p.m., Comedy We love comedians who make fun of fat, lazy children. Just because they're kids doesn't mean they can't learn nothing is fair in life.
Celebrity Ghost Stories, 9 p.m., Bio They've been saving this one for Halloween weekend: Daryl Hannah, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Shanna Moakler and Marilyn Manson. When a guy from Dancing With the Stars is one of your headliners, it's got to be scary.
Red: Werewolf Hunter, 9 p.m., SyFy Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Felicia Day stars as a woman who's got a real problem with hairy men. And her fiancee had no idea!
SEASON PREMIERE The Graham Norton Show, 10 p.m., BBC America Interviews that are both entertaining and informative? How did this guy get a show?
SEASON PREMIERE Pit Bulls & Parolees, 10 p.m., Animal Planet Ex-cons and pit bulls go together like lazy TV execs and reality shows.
Saturday Night Live, 11:30 p.m., NBC Jon Hamm and Rihanna team up for probably the most smokin' hot episode of the season. If SNL's track record holds, it will only go downhill from here the rest of the year.
Ghost Hunters Halloween Live, 7 p.m., SyFy The gang is going to spend six hours looking for spooks and specters at an abandoned Buffalo train station. That sounds about as gripping as watching paint dry.
SERIES PREMIERE The Walking Dead, 10 p.m., AMC Make sure the kiddies are home and passed out from their sugar crashes to catch this Frank Darabont vehicle about the zombie apocalypse. Yes, we know the show and the comic it was based on has a very 28 Days Later-style opening to it, but with only 13 initial episodes to pay for, we know the production values are going to be sky-high.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org