On TV tonight
MLB Baseball, 6 p.m., TBS The first of two Wild Card games for the night. We were just thinking baseball's playoffs were too short.
Paranormal Paparazzi, 7 p.m., Travel The team investigates whether Will Ferrell's trailer is haunted. Not unless you count photos with him not wearing a shirt as ghosts.
SEASON PREMIERE Monsters Inside Me, 8 p.m., Animal Planet A toddler will only eat cat food. Sounds perfectly normal to the parents watching tonight.
SEASON PREMIERE Jessie, 8:30 p.m., Disney This year kicks off with a scary story about a nanny who did something terrible to little kids. Like making them work for Disney? No, not that terrible.
Abducted: The Carlina White Story, 8 p.m., Lifetime Sherri Shepherd is a nurse who abducts a baby from a hospital. Husbands and boyfriends, make sure the house is stocked with Kleenex.
SERIES PREMIERE See Dad Run, 9 p.m., Nick at Nite Scott Baio is back as a stay-at-home dad who is clueless. You know, in case you wondered whatever happened to Chachi.
Saturday Night Live, 11:30 p.m., NBC Daniel Craig is the host tonight, so he'll be forced to perform in at least one James Bond skit. Don't worry, 007 can handle anything.
The Simpsons, 8 p.m., Fox It's Treehouse of Horror time already? Thanks, unbelievably long baseball playoffs.
SEASON PREMIERE Upstairs Downstairs, 9 p.m., PBS Some more period drama for all you Downton Abbey fans just biding your time.
Steel Magnolias, 9 p.m., Lifetime In case you don't have Netflix or want to watch Sally Field or Shirley MacLaine, you can watch this new, made-for-TV version with an African-American cast. Well, a movie with Alfre Woodard, Jill Scott, Queen Latifah and both Condola and Phylicia Rashad would be worth watching.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org