On TV this weekend
America's Toughest Jobs, 8 p.m., NBC They have yet to call us and ask for pointers about writing TV capsules every week while trying to maintain some sense of coherency. Maybe next season.
SEASON FINALE Discovery Project Earth: Fixing Carbon, 9 p.m., Discovery So what did we learn form this miniseries? Besides that we're all evil and must wipe our civilization from the face of the Earth?
Dog Whisperer 100th Episode Celebration, 9 p.m., National Geographic This retrospective full of celebrity endorsements for Cesar Millan's pack training is touching, except for that part about Patti LaBelle basically abusing that South African boerboel.
SEASON PREMIERE 20/20, 10 p.m., ABC The 30th(!) season of this news magazine features people in an alcohol-related car crash and an interview with Alec Baldwin, but they have nothing to do with each other.
Paula's Party, 7 p.m., Food Michelle Obama drops in on Paula Deen to see what's cooking. See what we did there? Because it's a cooking show? Oh, never mind.
SEASON PREMIERE Primeval, 9 p.m., BBC America More dinosaurs and wormholes or whatever. We don't know — we're usually soused by 8 on Saturdays.
Jimmy Kimmel's Big Night of Stars, 7 p.m., ABC Thank goodness it's for the Emmys; we'd hate to see what would happen if Matt Damon dropped by.
60th Primetime Emmy Awards, 8 p.m., ABC Really, who watches this? The people who actually care who wins Best Makeup for a Director in an Unscripted Drama? We'd rather watch reruns of Family Guy.
Vipers, 9 p.m., Sci Fi Original movies on this network give us hope that one day even we could break into showbiz.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org