On TV tonight
Note: President Bush will give his farewell address to the nation at 8 tonight, delaying some network programming.
SERIES PREMIERE Saw for Hire, 9 p.m., TLC We're going to go out on a limb and say a show about tree removal shows networks are stumped for new programming.
SERIES PREMIERE The Beast, 10 p.m., A&E Patrick Swayze is back, pancreatic cancer be damned. He stars as an FBI agent who specializes in kicking death's ass.
SERIES PREMIERE Treasure Quest, 10 p.m., Discovery What with the recession and all, why not a show about diving for sunken treasure? Because this isn't 1825, that's why.
SERIES PREMIERE Celebrity Rehab Presents Sober House, 10 p.m., VH1 Dr. Drew and crew answer our prayers and show us what sober-living treatment is like. The best part is that trailers show that the "celebrities" involved obviously fall off the wagon.
SEASON PREMIERE Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Dance Crew, 10 p.m., MTV It's like American Idol's deformed, incestuous cousin came back for another visit, dawg.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com