On TV tonight
MINISERIES PREMIERE Battleground: Rhino Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet A three-part series on the illegal rhino-horn trade and how difficult it is to fight poaching. Because we all want to be depressed by knowing the world is full of millions of backward mouthbreathers who somehow think driving our remaining megafauna extinct will give them a longer-lasting erection.
Glee, 9:30 p.m., Fox The show reaches its 500th musical performance. Coincidentally, the Internet reaches its 500th complaint about Glee.
North Woods Law, 10 p.m., Animal Planet It's moose season in Maine. Unfortunately for the wardens, the only hunting they're doing is for some poor doofus moose that got stuck in the mud. They probably just free him so he can be shot by some guy 300 yards away.
SEASON FINALE King of the Nerds, 10 p.m., TBS The biggest dork is crowned. That's either the greatest moment or biggest embarrassment of their life.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org