On TV tonight
SERIES PREMIERE Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, 8 p.m., ABC Another one of those "fairy tale-meets-real-life" shows, which seem to be all the rage right now. Lewis Carroll probably wouldn't approve, even with John Lithgow playing the White Rabbit.
Project Runway, 9 p.m., Lifetime The contestants get ready for New York Fashion Week, which can mean only one thing: There's only one more week to watch Tim Gunn tell people to pull themselves together.
SEASON PREMIERE Pawn Stars, 10 p.m., History The boys have a chance to get a prop from The Godfather, but the show won't tell us what. We're going to skip over the "offer they can't refuse" jokes and opt instead for asking: How many days a week is History showing reality shows now? "Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, Saturday."
SERIES PREMIERE Million Dollar Shoppers, 10:30 p.m., Lifetime A reality show about personal shoppers for rich people. Viewers are so desperate for a wage increase, they're willing to watch people spend other, richer people's money.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com