On TV tonight
SEASON PREMIERE The Vampire Diaries, 8 p.m., CW Elena died with vampire blood in her system, so now she's either got to be a bloodsucker or fade away forever. It's like a parable of this year's presidential election.
Vice Presidential Debate, 9 p.m., major networks Speaking of which, Joe Biden and Paul Ryan compete for who has the hardest job convincing the audience that their guy isn't an emotionless robot. Between the gaffes and the half-truths, this should be a great show.
SERIES PREMIERE Beauty and the Beast, 9 p.m., CW It's basically a remake of the Ron Perlman/Linda Hamilton series from the '80s. Except now, the beast kinda hulks out whenever he gets mad. Let's try to borrow from one genre at a time, please.
SEASON PREMIERE It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 10 p.m., FX Dennis and Dee's grandfather is on life support when they find out he was a Nazi. That should make pulling the plug that much easier.
SEASON PREMIERE The League, 10:30 p.m., FX Kevin's wife is about to have a baby and everyone gets invited to the Dallas Cowboys' training camp. Say so long to doing anything like that, Kevin; even if you could go, you'll be too tired.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com