On TV tonight
SEASON FINALE MasterChef, 8 p.m., Fox Who gets the money and the cookbook? As Gordon Ramsay would say, who the %&@! cares?
SEASON FINALE The Nine Lives of Chloe King, 9 p.m., ABC Family Chloe's dad emails and says he needs to see her. But not so much that he'd actually pick up the phone and call.
SEASON PREMIERE Downsized, 9 p.m., WEtv The Bruce family is almost off food stamps and Todd wants to buy a house, but probably can't. Just like we want to watch TV shows that don't remind us how depressing real life is, but probably can't.
SEASON PREMIERE What Not to Wear, 9 p.m., TLC Jenny McCarthy and Dancing With the Stars pro Cheryl Burke have Stacy and Quentin to tell them what to wear (because they both got famous for not wearing much at all).
SEASON FINALE HawthoRNe, 10 p.m., TNT Tom has to operate on a close friend. We thought doctors weren't allowed to do that.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com