On TV tonight
Glee, 8 p.m., Fox Will turns to Ricky Martin for help with his Spanish assignment. But really, is there a problem Ricky Martin couldn't solve?
SERIES PREMIERE The River, 9 p.m., ABC Paranormal Activity creator Oren Peli conjures up this show about a wildlife expert with an adventure reality show who goes missing on the Amazon and is being sought by his family and former crew members — who are taping it for our benefit, of course. If only the Kardashians could get lost that way.
SEASON PREMIERE The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo We dare not miss a week without the doings of rich, surgery addicted, unemployed ice queens. Especially not the ones from Southern California. No, the other ones.
SERIES PREMIERE Doomsday Preppers, 9 p.m., NatGeo The freakos worried about the end of the world apparently have become so numerous, some enterprising sort has decided to chronicle their preparations. SHHHH! You don't want to give away your best secrets! Now we all know where your zombie bunker is.
SEASON PREMIERE Jersey Couture, 10 p.m., Oxygen The Jerseyites continue to try to find the perfect dress for that special occasion. Like your parole hearing, or those divorce proceedings.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com