On TV tonight
Deadliest Catch, 9 p.m., Discovery King crab season draws to a close, so you know what that means: One crew member is going home to boost ratings.
SEASON PREMIERE America's Got Talent, 9 p.m., NBC Attention-starved vidiots, a panel of judges and $1 million return, but all we really want is pics of Nick Cannon's new kids.
SERIES PREMIERE Million Dollar Decorators, 10 p.m., Bravo We're kicking off this show about ridiculously rich people hiring ridiculously overconfident interior designers by introducing one woman who is unhappy she's been hired to stage a house people are selling. Hey, at least you don't have to ask what they like.
SERIES PREMIERE Deception With Keith Barry, 10 p.m., Discovery A mentalist claims to be able to implant thoughts in people's heads. Yeah, we saw Inception; the process is all jump cuts and slick underwriting.
SERIES PREMIERE Love Handles: Couples in Crisis, 10 p.m., Lifetime It's like Shedding for the Wedding, but by the people who make Jersey Shore. That means way more suntan lotion and hair gel.
SEASON PREMIERE The Little Couple, 10 p.m., TLC Trying to start a family, fix up the house and move the wife's parents to Houston? The fourth season apparently was filmed at my place.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org