On TV tonight
MINISERIES PREMIERE Frontier Earth, 8 p.m., Animal Planet Here's a bunch of weird animals and how they act. It beats watching another cheetah kill more baby antelopes.
MINISERIES PREMIERE Mankind The Story of All of Us, 9 p.m., History A 12-hour, six-day show about the entire history of every person who ever lived, hosted by Josh Brolin. We're scared to find out how much time they spend on the cast of Jersey Shore.
SEASON PREMIERE Doomsday Preppers, 9 p.m., NatGeo We're already kind of tired of making fun of weirdos who think they'll even be able to survive tornados, superearthquakes and oddly specific smallpox epidemics. Can we find someone who will admit he's afraid of being overrun by stupid rednecks? Because that could happen.
SERIES PREMIERE Little People Big World: Wedding Farm, 9 p.m., TLC The Roloffs are back, running a wedding venue in Oregon. Imagine how many times they'll get to do the Hokey Pokey!
SEASON PREMIERE Million Dollar Decorators, 10 p.m., Bravo The L.A.-based interior designers would continue to sell their souls, but the housing market out there has already cratered, so who can afford to decorate?
— Joshua Gillin [email protected]