On TV tonight
SERIES PREMIERE Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., 8 p.m., ABC Disney and Marvel have to keep the pots simmering until the next Avengers movie comes out, so Phil Coulson is resurrected to lead a crew of crime fighters.
SEASON PREMIERE NCIS, 8 p.m., CBS There's an explosion at a black-tie party in Washington, and it's not just from all that hot air.
SEASON PREMIERE NCIS: Los Angeles, 9 p.m., CBS Torture and nuclear weapons factor heavily into this episode. This show's plotlines are so far-fetched!
SERIES PREMIERE The Goldbergs, 9 p.m., ABC A sort of Wonder Years for kids who grew up in the 1980s. Being target consumers has its privileges, like TV shows about you.
SERIES PREMIERE Trophy Wife, 9:30 p.m., ABC Malin Akerman plays a third wife to some guy with three kids, so this is like Modern Family from Gloria's point of view.
SERIES PREMIERE Lucky 7, 10 p.m., ABC A drama about seven schlubs who work at a gas station and win the lottery, then suffer the consequences of being rich. What a problem to have.
SEASON PREMIERE Person of Interest, 10 p.m., CBS Wouldn't you know, the Machine finally points you to a Navy officer you can learn from, and it's Fleet Week.
SEASON FINALE Double Divas, 10 p.m., Lifetime A restaurant's waitresses are wearing corsets too small for their bodies. That was probably a management decision.
SERIES PREMIERE Fangasm, 10 p.m., Syfy Seven geeks live in a house together to vie for a job working for Stan Lee. The only way it could get better is if Elvira was on the show. NO WAY! (Be sure to root for Tampa's Mike Reed, while you're at it.)
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com