On TV tonight
MLB Baseball, 7 p.m., ESPN Baseball begins with the champion St. Louis Cardinals going to Miami so Major League Baseball can show off that gigantic tax boondoggle and architectural horror show the Marlins call a stadium. Be sure to wear sunglasses so the new unis don't blind you. (Go Rays!)
SERIES PREMIERE Betty White's Off Their Rockers, 8 p.m., NBC The hidden-camera special was such a hit and so inoffensive back in January that NBC decided it needed to happen again and again. Old people playing jokes on young people? You did that already; it's called Social Security.
Bobcat Goldthwait: You Don't Look the Same Either, 8 p.m., Showtime When he's not voice-acting for Adventure Time, Bobcat does stand-up. He's a lot funnier now than back when he used to shout into the microphone all the time. Plus, he jokes about divorce and going broke, which are hilarious topics.
SERIES PREMIERE Best Friends Forever, 8:30 p.m., NBC A divorcee goes back to Brooklyn to move in with her old pal, who has a live-in boyfriend. Watch out, pal, because misery loves company.
SEASON FINALE Happy Endings, 9:30 p.m., ABC Derrick and Eric's wedding is full of subplots that get to the heart of the message of the episode: That gay weddings are full of neurotic friends who could potentially ruin the proceedings, just like straight weddings!
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com