On TV tonight
SEASON PREMIERE Survivor: Redemption Island, 8 p.m., CBS For the 22nd season, people voted off at tribal council get sent to an island where they compete to get back to the main event. That's right, they've made a spin-off island full of all the people you didn't want to see, anyway.
SERIES PREMIERE Jamie's Food Escapes, 8 p.m., Cooking By escapes, Jamie means he gets to escape to Venice and have risotto. How come no one wants to escape to Pittsburgh and have a Primanti Bros.?
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox It's time to go to Hollywood and pick the top 20. It's like the NFL's Wild Card Weekend, if the games consisted only of the halftime shows.
Top Chef, 10 p.m., Bravo The chefs must make dishes for Cookie Monster, Telly and Elmo from Sesame Street before starring in a 30-minute commercial for all the great deals at Target. We say draw a bowl of corn flakes on a Target flier and call it a day.
SERIES PREMIERE Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, 10 p.m., CBS Because Criminal Minds: Interior Decorating doesn't sound ominous enough. Making a spin-off is what's suspect here.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com