On TV tonight
Super Bowl's Greatest Commercials 2013, 8 p.m., CBS Boomer Esiason and Aisha Tyler host a show dedicated to the one thing that fat, sloppy, consumerist Americans love more than watching two packs of steroid monsters tear each other limb from limb in an overwhelmingly lopsided game punctuated by hours of standing around doing nothing: Ads that cost way too much, selling things no one watching needs. Except beer. We all need beer.
Top Chef: Seattle, 10 p.m., Bravo The chefs must create something with iceberg lettuce while on a cruise to Alaska. We swear, if one of them cuts it into wedges and serves it with Russian dressing, we are done with this show.
SERIES PREMIERE The Americans, 10 p.m., FX The Cold War was so fun, we can now look back and wax nostalgic for the days when America truly knew who our enemies were. Two Soviet spies living in the D.C. suburbs in the 1980s are doing great, undermining the capitalist pigs that we are, but gasp! An FBI agent moves in next door! A government agent, living in the nation's capital? How could they have planned for that?!?!?
Necessary Roughness, 10 p.m., USA The team is trying to get used to Juliette, but considering Danielle Panabaker is still listed as a guest star, they may not have to worry about it for long.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org