On TV tonight
Toy Story OF TERROR!, 8 p.m., ABC A new special starring the characters from the cartoon movies, actually featuring Tom Hanks and Tim Allen in the voice cast. Now you won't have to explain to your kids why Woody and Buzz sound so strange.
Duck Dynasty, 10 p.m., A&E Si decides to make an instructional video on YouTube. If it's not how to grow the ultimate ironic hipster beard, we don't see it doing very well.
Top Chef, 10 p.m., Bravo The cheftestants, whose names we still haven't learned for the most part, must replicate the menu from the Commander's Palace restaurant. Paul Prudhomme is one of the judges, so go big or go home.
American Horror Story: Coven, 10 p.m., FX The jury is still out on this season's storyline, but we can all agree on one thing: The lack of aliens makes it much better than last year.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org