On TV tonight
SEASON PREMIERE The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC Don't be a helicopter parent, Frankie.
SEASON PREMIERE Hell's Kitchen, 8 p.m., Fox One of the 16 contestants ends up in the ER in the very first episode. Gordon Ramsay's swearing must be getting filthier.
SERIES PREMIERE Undercovers, 8 p.m., NBC Former CIA agents who became caterers are drawn back to the job after a friend goes missing. Check the walk-in cooler, guys.
SERIES PREMIERE Better With You, 8:30 p.m., ABC Three couples battle their way through different stages in their relationships: infatuation, boredom and outright hostility.
SEASON PREMIERE Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC Of course the ratings are low — this show is actually good.
Top Chef, 9 p.m., Bravo Will someone please bust Alex for stealing that pea puree and give Tiffany some kind of award, already?
SEASON PREMIERE Criminal Minds, 9 p.m., CBS How many times do we have to tell you, Tim Curry is the killer!
SEASON PREMIERE Cougar Town, 9:30 p.m., ABC Jennifer Aniston lands a role as Courteney Cox's shrink. We wouldn't take career advice from her, CC.
SERIES PREMIERE The Whole Truth, 10 p.m., ABC A crime procedural? Glad someone thought of doing that one!
SERIES PREMIERE The Defenders, 10 p.m., CBS Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell star in this series; the title must refer to the defense of why they keep finding work.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org