By Michelle Stark • Times Staff Writer
Ah, summer in Florida, when the days are longer and the amount of time before you're covered in sweat is shorter. Lucky for us, the summer TV schedule is full of sweet relief. A bevy of miniseries-type shows lead the way, starting with Fox's 12-episode 24: Live Another Day rehash May 5. But summer TV's true love will always be the vapid, cheaply produced reality show, and this year is no exception. Oh, sure, the next few months also see the arrival of must-see dramas and the anticipated return of a Netflix original, but this year's reality crop is so off the wall we couldn't look away even if we wanted to. Here's a look at 10 new shows, plus four returning faves, all of them a perfect excuse to get out of the heat and carve out an air-conditioned spot on your couch. Dates and times are subject to change.
24: Live Another Day
starts at 8 p.m. May 5 and airs at 9 p.m. Mondays, Fox
Fox reboots its fast-paced real-time thriller 24, about the action-packed adventures of everyone's favorite Counter Terrorism Unit agent, Jack Bauer. Four years after the show ended its eighth season, Jack (Kiefer Sutherland) is back and going rogue in London. Though he's technically in exile and no longer a Counter Terrorism operative, he's still dodging CIA assassins, trying to stop a terrorist attack and protecting the U.S. president. You know, the usual. The 12-episode limited series starts May 5 with a two-hour premiere.
first two hours air at 9 p.m. May 11 and the series concludes May 15, NBC
"Fear is born" is the tagline for this four-hour, two-part miniseries that stars Zoe Saldana (Avatar, Star Trek) as a woman who becomes pregnant with, well, you know the story. Adapted from the 1967 book (and, if Saldana's Mia Farrow-esque pixie haircut is any indication, also Roman Polanski's 1968 movie), the thriller centers on Rosemary (Saldana) and Guy (Suits' Patrick J. Adams), a young couple who move next door to a satanic coven in Paris (why Paris?) and creepy things start happening. Not the least of which is that Rosemary is probably carrying the spawn of Satan.
STARTS at 9 p.m. July 9 AND AIRS WEDNESDAYS, CBS
File Extant under "Shows That Are Impossible to Screw Up." Steven Spielberg serves as executive producer of this 13-episode sci-fi drama that stars Oscar-winning actor Halle Berry as an astronaut. The premise is that Berry's character has returned home to her family after a year in outer space, possibly carrying a nasty space parasite. If the show is smart, we'll also get lots of flashbacks to her adventures in space, a la Sandra Bullock in Gravity.
ARE THESE FOR REAL?
I Wanna Marry "Harry"
STARTS AT 8 p.m. May 20 AND AIRS TUESDAYS, Fox
It's best not to overthink this new dating show, in which a dozen single American women fly to London to meet a random English bloke they're led to believe is Prince Harry of Wales. You know, Harry, grandson to the Queen of England, brother to Prince William, someone who would never step foot near a Bachelor-esque dating show. "Harry" (a.k.a. 23-year-old Matt Hicks, who actually does look a lot like the real prince) courts each of the ladies, taking them on romantic dates and trying to convince them he's royalty. At least one contestant is duped early on: "He's Prince Harry, and I know it," she declares as if her life depends on it. Sure, honey, good luck with that.
Sing Your Face Off
STARTS at 9 p.m. May 31 AND AIRS SATURDAYS, ABC
Is this actually a show, or are we having a nightmare after binge-watching too much Celebrity Apprentice? Let's start with the convoluted concept: Each week, celebrities are transformed into and trained to perform as musical icons, undergoing physical makeovers to look like the famous musicians before singing their songs. Then there are the "celebrities," who include RuPaul, Skid Row's Sebastian Bach, the NBA's Landry Fields, comedian Jon Lovitz, Disney Channel actor China Anne McClain and actor Lisa Rinna. Eighties pop star Debbie Gibson and SNL alum Darrell Hammond are the primary judges, because at this point, why not?
STARTS at 9 p.m. June 22 AND AIRS SUNDAYS, ABC
Israel's Mossad intelligence agency designed the voting app for this new singing competition, so you know it's high stakes. Rising Star hopes to set itself apart with a gimmick to rival The Voice: Aspiring singers audition behind a video wall and, as they're singing, viewers vote via a smartphone app. It's all in real time, so if they get enough votes, the screen goes up and reveals them to the audience. Oh, and to add to the sheer terror of being judged in front of millions, the performers can see the voting results the whole time.
The Maya Rudolph Show
10 p.m. May 19, NBC
If you asked us to describe our ideal television program, it'd look a whole lot like The Maya Rudolph Show: a one-time variety special featuring Saturday Night Live alum Rudolph and a bunch of her pals (Fred Armisen, Kristen Bell, Sean Hayes, Chris Parnell, Craig Robinson, Andy Samberg) singing, dancing and being hilarious. It doesn't get much better than that. Oh, wait, maybe it does: We hear the special, produced by SNL overlord Lorne Michaels, could turn into a weekly series. At which point we'd faint from pure joy.
STARTS at 10 p.m. May 30 AND AIRS FRIDAYS, NBC
In what is perhaps the most fake-sounding show of the year, John Malkovich plays Blackbeard in this new action drama that takes place in the 1700s. Because if there's one actor we think of immediately when we think of historical pirates on TV, it's ... John Malkovich?
STARTS at 10 p.m. June 29 AND AIRS SUNDAYS, HBO
This high-concept drama based on author Tom Perrotta's 2011 book marks Lost showrunner Damon Lindelof's first major foray into television since his infamous ABC show ended in 2010. Co-written by Lindelof and Perrotta, The Leftovers is the story of the people who didn't make the cut after the Rapture. It's a killer concept, with a cast led by Justin Theroux and Liv Tyler, and we're eager to see how it all plays out. Just no smoke monsters, okay?
STARTS at 10 p.m. July 13 AND AIRS SUNDAYS, FX
This 13-episode horror series from filmmaker Guillermo del Toro, author Chuck Hogan and other former Lost showrunner Carlton Cuse is based on the bestselling vampire novel trilogy by del Toro and Hogan. The premise: A CDC scientist leads the fight against a bad outbreak of mutant, del Toro-esque vampires. But wait, it gets better! The heroic scientist is played by Corey Stoll, who remains one of the only good things about Netflix's House of Cards.
So You Think You Can Dance
STARTS AT 8 p.m. May 28 AND AIRS WEDNESDAYS, Fox
Move over, every other talent competition on TV, So You Think You Can Dance returns for its 11th season to put you all to shame. Why are we so charmed? Maybe it's the entertaining yet level-headed judging panel led by SYTYCD creator Nigel Lythgoe, or the fact that everyone who competes is jaw-droppingly talented, or peppy British host Cat Deeley, the greatest off-the-cuff reality show emcee this side of Tom Bergeron.
Orange Is the New Black
ALL EPISODES AVAILABLE June 6, Netflix
When all 13 episodes of Orange Is the New Black's first season debuted on Netflix last summer, no one knew what to expect. There wasn't nearly as much hype for the prison-set dramedy as there was for Netflix's previously released House of Cards. But slowly, OITNB became one of 2013's hottest shows, and deservedly so. The show, from longtime TV writer (and Weeds creator) Jenji Kohan, is composed of a sprawling, mostly female cast of all sizes, backgrounds and colors — something we don't see nearly enough of, anywhere. The highly anticipated second season comes after a whopper of a cliffhanger last year: The final moments showed Piper Chapman, who was sentenced in Season 1 to 15 months in a women's prison for transporting drug money, relentlessly punching one of her fellow inmates. Are the Litchfield ladies headed for bleaker times?
STARTS AT 9 p.m. June 22 AND AIRS SUNDAYS, HBO
True Blood heads into its final season with little of the sexy satirical sparkle that once made it buzzworthy. It debuted in 2008, just months before Twilight hit theaters, and officially helped kick-start our culture's obsession with All Things Vampire. Six years later, the sexy blood suckers just aren't as dangerously alluring — and True Blood isn't as compelling. That said, the citizens of Bon Temps aren't going down without a fight. Sick vampires are invading the town this season, bringing the Hep V virus with them and leading our remaining do-gooders into some sort of apocalypse.
Under the Dome
STARTS AT 10 p.m. June 30 AND AIRS MONDAYS, CBS
Once upon a time, when Under the Dome premiered last summer, there was talk of it being a one-and-done miniseries. Then it went and shattered a bunch of ratings records — with more than 13 million viewers for its pilot, it was the highest-rated summer drama opener since 1992 and CBS's biggest summer pilot since 2000 — so here it is, back for a second season. The show, based on a 2009 novel by Stephen King, is about a small town in Maine where a massive dome has cut off its residents from the rest of the world. We learned a bit about the dome's origins (aliens?!) at the end of Season 1, but chances are that doesn't mean the characters will be free from it any time soon.