This week on TV
The Bachelorette, 8 p.m. ABC Deana is down to her final four, and she visits each dude's hometown to meet their families. Good to know she's taking an old-fashioned approach to love.
I Love the New Millennium, 9 p.m. and 10 p.m., VH1 We've entered into a time paradox, as VH1 begins a weeklong series professing nostalgia for the decade we're currently in. Hey, remember iPods, Tivo and Dick Cheney? We do!
Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime Guillermo sends Nancy on a drug run across the border, and Celia gets an admirer in prison. Isn't drug life glamorous?
2008 BET Awards, 8 p.m., BET Al Green and Quincy Jones get lifetime achievement awards. The real question: Who will win Best Collaboration — Chris Brown and T-Pain, Kanye West and T-Pain, or Flo Rida and T-Pain?
Celebrity Family Feud, 8 p.m., NBC Ice-T vs. Joan and Melissa Rivers? There's a feud that's been brewing for far too long.
SERIES PREMIERE Wipeout, 8 p.m., ABC It's like a cross between American Gladiators, Double Dare and the most intricate immunity challenges on Survivor. In our mind, the biggest obstacle was surviving those endless promos during the NBA Finals.
SERIES PREMIERE I Survived a Japanese Game Show, 9 p.m., ABC Folks perform bizarre stunts for money. So shouldn't it be called I Survived an American Reality Show, then?
America's Got Talent, 9 p.m., NBC No ... no, it doesn't. (That joke never gets old.)
Wife Swap, 8 p.m., ABC A pig and chicken farmer trades places with a belly dancer. Are they just casting these shows with Mad Libs now?
AFI Lifetime Achievement Award: A Tribute to Warren Beatty, 9 p.m., USA "And now, to say a few words about his onscreen partner in Dick Tracy: Mumbles."
NBA Draft, 7:30 p.m., ESPN Which draftee's suit will have the most buttons? How will O.J. Mayo react now that he's actually allowed to play basketball for money?
SERIES PREMIERE Hopkins, 10 p.m., ABC This six-part documentary series, culled from 1,500 hours of footage, takes viewers inside Johns Hopkins Hospital. (Well, not literally. That would be contagious.)
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, 10 p.m., Bravo Kathy flies to Australia for Mardi Gras on a plane populated by drag queens, and does her stand-up over the P.A. Oh, those poor drag queens.
SERIES PREMIERE Dance Machine, 8 p.m., ABC ABC winds down Weirdo Reality Show week with the one thing this country needs: Another freaking dance program. This one pits regular joes against one another onstage, Expect a great deal of substandard popping and/or locking.
Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12:05 a.m. ABC Check out Bradenton punks We the Kings making their late-night-TV debut. They'll be back in St. Pete July 11 for the Warped Tour. You can say you knew them way back when.
— Jay Cridlin firstname.lastname@example.org