On TV this week
Olympics: swimming, beach volleyball, men's gymnastics, 8 p.m., NBC Michael Phelps and Natalie Coughlin hop in the pool for the men's 200M free and men's and women's 100M free and back. As proud Americans, let us all hope they eat lunch more than 30 minutes before diving in.
The Closer, 9 p.m., TNT What happens when you wrap up an attempted murder sting operation, only to find that your car (and all your evidence) was stolen when you stopped for lunch afterward? You probably get yelled at by Brenda, that's what.
Saving Grace, 10 p.m., TNT Your oddball casting choice of the week: former Cowboys coach Barry Switzer, guest-starring as himself. Apparently he once owned Grace's Porsche, which apparently contains thousands of dollars of cash hidden in the door. Jerry Jones declined to comment.
Olympics: men's basketball, 8 a.m., USA One of America's proudest moments was when the original 1992 Dream Team beat Angola 116-42 in Barcelona. Watch these two world superpowers renew their storied rivalry.
Olympics: swimming, beach volleyball, women's gymnastics, 8 p.m., NBC Four swimming finals and the women's team gymnastics final. We're beginning to think NBC likes to televise athletes who aren't wearing a lot of clothes.
Smash Lab, 10 p.m., Discovery The team examines the technology behind supposed crash-proof cars. If we know our pseudo-scientific Discovery Channel series — and we think we do — we anticipate much of the smashy-smashy.
Olympics: table tennis, 2 a.m., USA Ping pong! Now we're talking. We don't know exactly when USA will begin its table tennis coverage, so just watch the network's entire 10-hour block of Olympics programming from 2 a.m. to noon. It'll be worth it — it's ping pong!
Olympics: men's gymnastics, 10 p.m., NBC No Paul Hamm, but that doesn't mean the Americans can't still win gold in the men's all-around competition. Oh wait — it does? Okay, never mind.
Man vs. Wild, 10 p.m., Discovery Bear Grylls travels to Louisiana for a little gator-rasslin' and catfish-grabbin'. Can we all agree that "being Bear Grylls" should be an Olympic sport? Thought so.
SEASON FINALE: Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, 10 p.m., Bravo Kathy's got red, white and blue fever as she visits an Army hospital to cheer up the troops. Because if there's one thing our nation's war heroes need right now, it's backstage dish on what Joy Behar eats on the set of The View.
Olympics: women's gymnastics, 11:30 p.m., NBC Sixteen-year-old Shawn Johnson will go for gold in the women's all-around gymnastics competition, which starts at 11:30 p.m. Please try to avoid stepping on the competitors.
SEASON PREMIERE: Gone Country, 8 p.m., CMT Sebastian Bach, Jermaine Jackson, Lorenzo Lamas and Sean Young attempt to boot, scoot 'n' boogie their way to country music stardom. Or, um, stardom, period.
Olympics: beach volleyball, track and field, swimming, 8 p.m., NBC Dearest log: Not sure how much more Olympics we can take. Patience running low. Madness settling in. If Michael Phelps doesn't win a record-tying seventh gold medal in tonight's 100M fly, we may just give up entirely.
— Jay Cridlin firstname.lastname@example.org