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Top television offerings for the upcoming week

towatch

Today

SEASON FINALE: Greek, 8 p.m., ABC Family. Casey almost falls down a manhole and Frannie files a complaint about homecoming float sabotage. Related? Possibly.

SERIES PREMIERE: Joe Buck Live, 9 p.m., HBO. Nobody can replace Bob Costas, but Joe Buck will at least let us forget about him for a while.

Nurse Jackie, 10:30 p.m., Showtime. Jackie accidentally drugs her boss when she tries to drug a patient who hit her. That's the excuse we'll use.

Tuesday

CMT Music Awards 2009, 8 p.m., CMT. Gee, do you think Sugarland, Taylor Swift or Brad Paisley might win something? They're going to perform, at least, along with Trace Adkins, Jason Aldean, Dierks Bentley and Rascal Flatts.

SERIES PREMIERE: Wedding Day, 8 p.m., TNT. Wow, people who are nice and like each other and need a little help with their wedding get it. This show will never last.

SERIES PREMIERE: HawthoRNe, 9 p.m., TNT. Jada Pinkett Smith couldn't let Edie Falco have all the fun on Nurse Jackie, so here's another nurse show.

Wednesday

SERIES PREMIERE: The Othersiders, 8 p.m., Cartoon. Because there's not enough shows about haunted houses or live-action shows on TV, now they're sticking 'em on Cartoon Network. What the … ?

SERIES PREMIERE: Survive This, 8:30 p.m., Cartoon. Just like the above, but a Survivor-style reality show with kids. Soon there will just be one network called TeeVee, with nothing but haunted-house reality shows.

SEASON FINALE: The Unusuals, 10 p.m., ABC. Someone breaks into a couple's home to film a porno movie. We wonder how they found out … after a trip to the video store, perhaps?

Thursday

NHL Awards, 7:30 p.m., Versus. New trophy this year: Player who actually made 90 percent of Americans say to themselves, "Oh, right, hockey season is over now."

Ultimate Factories, 8 p.m., NatGeo. Wow, the Caterpillar 797B is a two-story dump truck with 14-foot-high, 5-ton tires and a 42,000-pound diesel engine. Just the thing to deal with ever-rising gas prices.

Raising Sextuplets, 10 p.m., WEtv. The family plans to expand the house, but Jenny wants to save the old tree in the front yard. Why not just put the kids in it? You only have to worry about boughs breaking.

Friday

Surviving Suburbia, 8 p.m., ABC. Anne gets all hot over Steve's obsession with a new gun Onno gives them. How many dysfunctions is that?

The Chopping Block, 8 p.m., NBC. The teams have to prepare dishes using aphrodisiacs. Why does that sound like the opening to an adult movie?

Scorsese on Scorsese, 10 p.m., TCM. Martin Scorsese talks about his favorite subject: himself. The proof? The original interview was five hours long.

Joshua Gillin; jgillin@tampabay.com.

Top television offerings for the upcoming week 06/14/09 [Last modified: Sunday, June 14, 2009 9:34pm]

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